Men and the "Tough Guise"

When you think of a man and what it means to be masculine, what do you think of? Do you think of the skinny, nerdy guy or do you think of the big, strong, muscular guy? Most Americans will probably say the latter. It has become a part of our culture that a man needs to be strong, aggressive, protective, little to no emotion, and be extremely muscular in stature. In the documentary Tough Guise: Violence, Media & The Crisis of Masculinity, Jackson Katz demonstrated the shift in size of male action figures in the 1960s/1970s to the size of men in the 1980s/1990s. In the 1960s/1970s, male action figures were smaller all around—proportions, muscular size, and guns were all smaller. In the 1980s/1990s, we had action figures with bigger guns, bigger, more “ripped” muscles, and they were taller. To give a comparison, he showed that a G.I. Joe action figure in the 1980s/1990s would have had a 26” bicep in reality, while Mark Maguire, the epitome of masculinity at the time, only had 20” biceps. This becomes a problem because any male who does not fit into the “big and strong” category gets bullied, told that they are weak and that they are not of much worth. Men are also told that they need to ‘man up’ or ‘grow a pair’ if they are showing signs of weakness—pain/injured, scared, sad/upset, and the only thing that is acceptable to show is anger. If all that men are allowed to do is feel anger, it manifests in violence—towards other men, towards women (especially sexually), and towards every living thing. This idea that any sign of femininity (emotional, liking arts instead of sports, liking cooking or any other “homemaker” duties) is bad and that anything masculine (violent, strong, unemotional) is good is what Katz calls the “tough guise”.

A real life example of the “tough guise” is evident in a TED talk by Tony Porter. He talks about how men are socialized to devalue women, to not show any emotion when something bad happens, and that violence is OK. He makes a call to men that if they want their daughters to have a better future, they need to do something about it and start teaching their sons a different moral code, as well as start thinking about how they treat women.
You can view this TED Talk here: http://www.ted.com/talks/tony_porter_a_call_to_men.html

I am interested in knowing, what are some ways that we can help young men in our society learn to value and appreciate women more, to make it acceptable for men to show emotion, and to show them that they don’t all have to be tough? How do we get society as a whole to value the nerds/geeks/artists who typically are not seen in favorable light? How do we get to show men that they can be whoever they want and it doesn’t have to be in a negative, violent manner?

Source: Jhally, S. (Director). (1999). Tough Guise: Violence, Media & the Crisis in Masculinity [Documentary]. USA: Media Education Foundation.